Because Lakshya Ko Har Haal Mein Paana Hai

We all know that We are somewhat eager to get into the Indian Army as soon and easiest as possible.Yes, me too. I passed my 12th class in Commerce stream (without Maths) in May 2012. I know I’ve very few attempts to get into the army as I’m not that Engineer from 3 idiots like most of the applicants here.Frankly saying, I’m an Introvert, due to being socially unadaptable because of embarrassing Gynecomastia .

My parents were never interested in Sports or in Defence either taking as a career for themselves or persuading me to get into any of  them. I inherited this belief for years, of having a stable 10-5 government job for life with a regular salary and other incentives. Btw,My father is an engineer in MTNL and Mother is an Art teacher in a private school.   Most of us have got interested in Defence, taking  as a career choice either by inheritance or interest since birth or involving self into sports in initial years of life, or mostly due to watching loud movies  like Lakshya,Border etc……..So, I got the first spark in 2000 when I was 6 and unaware of Kargil war but was much influenced by movie Prahaar which left a image in my mind of Army.   As the time moved further, I lost that spark and built an atmosphere in my mind that its Money above Everything and I started giving more interest to Business stories and Business ideas.

Finally , when I reached class 10th , I was determined that I would take up Commerce and it would be easy to get it in almost 60-70 percent. So , I got 7.4 Cgpa out of 10 (72.52 %) in 10th. My luck as I knew ,mostly works against me. My principal increased the cutoffs to get commerce ,from that year and I got commerce  stream without Maths, due to poor grade in Maths. Now as 11th passed by and I came to 12th I got to know that I must think of many other options instead of relying on just BBA or BHM +MBA+Job  idea .   While it was May 2011, I was enjoying summer vacations of 12th. One night, there was a movie playing on a very unpopular channel on TV. I found out after initial acknowledgements that that Movie was “Lakshya”. I had always ignored that movie due to its army ingredient. Somehow, I was afraid of death very much since childhood so I was never interested in Army. That Night, it was about 2 a.m when that movie finished , and surprisingly I watched it whole.   I cant express that how much I cried that whole night till morning about my Life, for the Soldiers who lost their lives , and especially because of realizing that how much bad and disgusting my mindset was, For Life , Country and Army and What I was going to do . My Introspection began the next day, maybe it was a new beginning when I got a new attitude. May be It seems that I am stupid but It is true that Movie is very influential. Thanks to Farhan n Hrithik.  

So I took a week almost , and finally came to a conclusion that I will join Indian Army at any cost. Now looking at present circumstances at that time , my school routine was about to start, my tuitions were going on for Eco. and Accounts and it was July in 2011. As Mental Pressure was very high to get good marks in 12th and get admission in any Commerce college in DU or IP university. So, now it was the time to list out the things I should do for now, and priority was to start Maths tuition in mid of 12th class from level of 11th and give an additional paper in Boards, and simultaneously  prepare for NDA. After, months of daily torture of 7 hour school routine , 6 hour tuition, Parents and Teachers scolding every day , Gynecomastia , Fat , Friendsless society and Introvert nature , I stuck in a situation , where I lost all my senses. I passed 12th with around 70 % and failed in Maths paper (6/100) after an expensive tuition of 300/hr for 5 months 6 days/week.  I tried to search some options apart from NDA as I got my Maths capability result.  I was very disappointed with life. But , thankfully my Papa had always loved me alot. I dropped all negative things in minds .I joined gym for 3 months for the hopefully for NDA SSB.

In June 2012 , After applying for CLAT,BBA,BHM,BCom,BA etc in many universities , finally I got 1274 rank in BBA entrance of IP university and took admission in MAIMS. Then, after this relief , I had to give my last NDA exam on first week of August almost and somehow after some preparation I became confident that I’ll crack it but I wasn’t able to clear even the written test . I felt lost as I didn’t knew what is happening to my decision and confidence to get into Army. Till that Time, I was late to apply for NCC that year, unfortunately.   After all this, Since the beginning of college years, I got into the real world of an Introvert .I had no one in college to be friends with at that time so I got into habit of spending whole night and days awake on internet giving answers to my curiosity researching , watching and learning about every single thing whether its about space/ aliens or its about religion or history or geography or exploring new lonely places in the city and in the world or trying new cuisines or seeing trains on a railway station or sitting in a park for many hours or going to a far place from home to near by city on a scooter or going to airport to see people coming from foreign land or crying in a lonely place or walking in rain or visiting the cantonment area or visiting Rashtrapati Bhavan etc etc etc …….Finally I did almost as many weird things that I wanted to do or had a weird feeling in me since many years . It seems stupid but it was such a nice feeling. I spent almost 8 months from my first year of my college and my attendance survived on medicals. I gained the intellectual level like that of philosopher or Artists. The value of money has been very minimized since then. Frankly I have realized my Real self. I got knowledge to make a View point about every thing which is happening around the world. I developed interest in National and World Politics as well . Briefly, I feel that I am intellectually stable and good today , as I know how to live and what to do with my future and present , and I also know that now after my Gynecomastia surgery, I’ve gained a lot confidence and stability in mind and I have to start my physical preparation for SSB and hopefully NCC as well.   Thankfully with efforts , I passed my first year in July 2013 without any back papers. This time in 2nd year of college, I’ve applied for NCC (SD Army) from Open College option , due to non availability of NCC in IPU.   Again, unfortunately I got to know that , for just this time ,the selection is tough,vacancies have been reduced , and selections to NCC will be directly made by the Commanding Officer himself who is head of the unit and of Lt.Col level. He changed all the previous criteria and things that were usually happening till now. I feel , how every single person is interested to demage my soul. Its been 2 weeks since C.O has asked me to improve and being able to win the race. I don’t know whether its possible or not as I have to lose weight first and then build endurance and its practically very difficult to do in 6 days. My Family is still hopeful as I am , as I have promised that I will get into the army for sure , one day. I think the only option which seems now is CDSE for which I have total 7 attempts. The struggle will be legal to start from next year July 2014 onwards , when I will reach in my final year. Actually No one in my whole family has ever been interested in Sports or in Defence. And I want to take that initiative. Hopefully either I will get into NCC too or will rely on CDSE from next year and I am getting great help from SsbCrack…I know my article is not related to SSB experiences but it will give you some idea of being Natural throughout your SSB J..Lets See What Happens… But I’m sure that I am experiencing the Real Life and surely I’m Living to the Fullest….May Passion remain forever…..and I get into the great organization of Indian Army.